Alpha

18th - 20th October

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10 Types Of People In MUJ

- Aadya Saxena

1. The Zombies

They may or may not be dead, who's to say, but they definitely haven't found sleep in a few days. Or weeks. Possibly months. They're running on pure adrenaline and caffeine. If you see them, please offer a comfortable shoulder to take a miniature nap on. Otherwise, more coffee will do.

2. The Devil-May-Cares

Did they have a quiz today? Well, they probably don't know, and almost definitely don't care. Some say they've ascended from this mortal, material realm, having found one beyond human suffering. Popular quotes include ‘Bhai, assignment ki pictures bhej na.’ and ‘Sab moh maaya hai.’ usually, exactly in that order.

3. The Queens (and Kings)

Bad hair days, mismatched outfits and uneven eyeliner are words that do not exist in their dictionaries. Cliché, but true. They're the coolest looking people around campus, and you're almost valid in being slightly intimidated. If her eyeliner wing is sharp enough to cut you, do not mess with her.

4. The Gordon Ramsays

Wait, wait, wait, they're not mean, they just really love food. They'll know what's in the mess before anyone else, and they'll know what to order from where depending upon whom they're with, what's the budget, what's the vibe, what's the time,what's the weather like, and they'll do this in minutes. Joey might not share food, but they will never even consider the thought.

5. The Good Kids™

You know these guys. Of course you do. They'll reach class fifteen minutes early, have all the work done, and remind the teacher of the project that you have oh shit,not even thought about in weeks. They're rarely spotted outside, if it isn't for a. classes, b. clubs or c. that one (1) extroverted friend that forces them to interact with human beings.

6. The X Factors

They have often been asked, 'Why are you in (insert course) if you're so good at (insert talent)?’ They might or might not know the answer, but they're certainly tired of being asked. If you see them sing, play, write or dance, please refrain from questioning their career choices. Provide a compliment and move on.

7. The Missing

They're in your class, you know this. Their attendance is called and is, somehow, answered. For you, however, they're an enigma. You've never seen them. Neither in class nor outside. Who are they? Do they even exist? Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

8. The Broke

For them, money is an old friend. Except, the kind of friend you met years ago as a kid, and haven't really caught up with in a while, and you send texts but never get replies, you know? They just, they haven't got any money. How they even survive, on a day to day basis, is a mystery, even to them. Especially to them.

9. The Beehives

If you see one member of the group, it's almost guaranteed that you'll see the rest. In a display of rather fascinating herd behaviour, this particular category eats, walks, and generally exists as a combined entity. Look to your right, look to your left, if you don't see anyone in this category, it's probably you.

10. The Perfectionists

Okay, you probably hate these people a little, simply because of how likeable they are. They show up to class, get good grades, participate in all the things and are currently living in like, three parallel dimensions just to attend the meetings for all the things they're doing. If you see them, do say hi, but don't expect more because they are probably on the way to a thing they promised a person they'd show up to.